I FEEL POSSESSED

THE LAST EXORCISM...I WISH!  THIS WEEK WE GET THE LATEST ATTEMPT TO RECAPTURE THE TRUE HORROR OF THE EXORCIST.  AIN’T...GONNA...HAPPEN!  I’M JUST SAYING.  THE LAST EXORCISM WILL NOT COME CLOSE TO THE DOWN RIGHT FREAK ME OUT TERROR OF THE EXORCIST. 

NONE OF THE ACTUAL EXORCIST SEQUELS COULD DO IT.   THE EXORCISM/COURT ROOM DRAMA “THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE” COULD NOT DO IT.  I AM WILLING TO STAKE MY GEEKY REPUTATION ON THE FACT THAT THE LAST EXORCISM, WHILE POTENTIALLY FRIGHTENING, WON’T EVEN SCRATCH THE SURFACE.

I LIKE HORROR FILMS, BUT I DON’T FIND THEM SCARY. THE MOVIES THAT HAVE LEFT ME WITH A CREEPY FEELING AFTER THEY ARE OVER ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN.  BUT I WILL CONFESS HERE AND NOW THAT THE EXORCIST FREAKED ME OUT ENTIRELY.  I FIND THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF DEMONIC POSSESSION TO BE PRETTY CREEPY, BUT  NONE OF THESE OTHER EXORCISM MOVIES HAVE MANAGED TO CAPTURE THE TERROR THE WAY WILLIAM FRIEDKIN DID WAY BACK IN THE 70’S.

IF YOU’RE TRULY A HORROR AFICIONADO, YOU’VE SEEN THE EXORCIST.  IF NOT, YOU MAY HAVE REJECTED IT AS OLD AND THEREFORE UNABLE TO MATCH THE THRILLS THAT MODERN HORRORS CAN CREATE.  FORGET THAT.  IT IS WORTH A TRIP BACK MANY DECADES TO WATCH THIS HORROR MASTERPIECE.  HOW MANY HORROR FILMS CAN YOU NAME THAT EARNED OSCAR NOMINATIONS (THE SIXTH SENSE, SOME WOULD ARGUE THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS).  NOT MANY.  THE EXORCIST DID.

THE BIGGEST FACET OF THE MARKETING FOR THE LAST EXORCISM SEEMS TO BE THAT IT’S PRODUCED BY ELI ROTH, A MAN FAMOUS IN HORROR CIRCLES FOR HIS TORTURE HORRORS (HOSTEL) AND BEING MISCAST AS A MENACING SOLDIER IN “INGLORIOUS BASTERDS”.   THAT DOESN’T FILL ME WITH A LOT OF HOPE OF THIS MOVIE.  WILL IT BE GOOD? PERHAPS.  DOWN RIGHT SCARY? I DOUBT IT. AS SCARY AS THE EXORCIST?  NOT A SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN HELL.